If you’ve been following my journey through these updates and check ins, you will know that I have a passion for mental health and suicide prevention and advocacy. I want to speak out and educate others, while also normalizing conversations and reducing the stigma. By sharing my personal experience, I encourage others to do the same, and to not be afraid to speak up. Mental wellness isn’t a solo journey, it’s built through community. And when we support each other, our mental wellness thrives. Suicidal thoughts are common. Suicide threats and attempts are less common, but much more frequent than most people realize. Suicide is the most common psychiatric emergency and is a leading cause of death in America and around the world.
While researching an upcoming project, I came across a suicide prevention training that caught my eye. On a whim, I decided to sign up. It was a virtual training, happening on a Thursday evening from 7-8pm. And since the library is open until 7pm, I still wasn’t sure I would actually join the Zoom. The more I researched the subject, the more I knew I needed to attend this training. With a suicide attempt in my past, I want to do whatever I can to get others who are struggling the help that they need.
So what exactly was the subject of this training? QPR. Question. Persuade. Refer. And let me preface this by saying…QPR is not a form of counseling or treatment. It is intended to offer hope through positive action. By learning QPR, you will come to recognize the clues and warning signs of people in trouble, and gain the skills to act quickly to prevent a possible tragedy. Much like CPR, the fundamentals of QPR are easily learned, and the use may save a life. There are several types of QPR training available. I completed the one hour Gatekeeper training, which was offered through the LIVIN Foundation out of Anoka, MN. A Gatekeeper is anyone in a position to recognize a crisis and warning signs that someone may be contemplating suicide. The LIVIN Foundation offers free QPR suicide prevention training quarterly. Please visit the LIVIN Foundation website for more information and training dates. The following information is from my training and was published by the QPR Institute.
STEP 1: QUESTION – How to Question the Person about Suicidal Thoughts.
Because suicide has a stigma and is such a taboo subject, asking the “S” question may seem awkward or difficult at first. Perhaps you feel only a professional person should ask such a delicate question. Not so. Suicide prevention is everyone’s business. Feeling some reluctance to ask the question is natural and for good reason. Plan a time and place, preferably a private setting, to start asking questions. An intervention may take time, so make sure to give yourself plenty of time with this person. A “yes” to the “S” question puts the subject of suicide on the table for discussion. Once you ask someone if they are thinking of suicide and they say yes, you now must act. You have an obligation you didn’t have only moments ago. This is good, not bad. Research has shown that once people are asked if they are suicidal, they feel relief, not distress. Until now, they have been bearing their pain in solitude. Anxiety decreases, while hope increases. A chance to go on living has been offered. It is almost as if by asking the “S” question, you provide a ray of light where there has been darkness.
STEP 2: PERSUADE – How to Persuade Someone to Get Help.
Once the question has been asked, most people want to talk. Your role is to listen first. Give your full attention, do not interrupt, and do not rush to judgement. Speak only when the person has finished talking. Make a safe plan for the person to get some help. Sometimes suicidal people will agree to get help, but fail to follow through. Or they will resist the idea of getting help, even though they seem to recognize that they need it. The more hopeless and helpless they feel, the more difficult it may be for them to act on their own behalf. A promise not to hurt oneself and to go on living until help is gotten is most frequently met with relief and an agreement to stay alive. Refusal to accept help does not mean QPR failed. Another course of action is available. Persuasion works best when you do the following: Persist in statements that suicide is not a good solution and suggest that better alternatives can be found. Focus on healthy solutions to problems. Accept the reality of the person’s pain, but offer alternatives. Collaborate with the person and assure them of your ongoing support. Offer hope in any form and in any way. Show respect.
STEP 3: Referral – How to Refer Someone for Help.
The last step in QPR is making the referral, or connecting the person with a mental health professional. This means doing your research. You should have names and phone numbers of local resources that are available to help. Use these guidelines for an effective referral: The best referrals are when you personally make an appointment and take the person you are worried about to a mental health provider or other appropriate professional. The next best referral is when the person agrees to see a professional and you help them make an appointment, so that you can follow up later to learn that they actually kept the appointment. The third best referral is getting the person to agree to accept help, even if in the future, and providing them with specific referral information. Most suicidal people who agree to get help, will act in good faith and get the help they need. However, because of the stigma associated with accepting counseling or professional help for disorders of the brain or emotional problems, some people may not follow through. This is why they recommend that, if possible, you physically take the person to someone who can help.
Treatment will likely be needed to make some fundamental changes in the way the person is living life, but much can be accomplished in a relatively short time. In our role as QPR-trained gatekeepers, we can buy them some time to get some rest, get professional help, and pass beyond this rough patch on the long road of life. To help you act with courage, here are three things to remember. 1) Don’t worry about being disloyal. 2) Don’t worry about breaking a trust. 3) Don’t worry about not having sufficient information to call for help. If in doubt, act! Reach out! Don’t wait! Take all signs seriously! Suicide is preventable and recovery is possible.
Until next time, stay happy, healthy, and safe! ~Sally~
